First of all, if you read this and any of this surprises you, you’re a dickhead. Straight up, no questions. An oppressive dickhead, at that. Why are you arguing about this anyway? How have you suddenly become spokesperson for mankind in general and gained the right to tell people what they should and shouldn’t be upset about? That’s not your place, you have no right to do that. Sit back in your corner, read a book, and stop being so damn ignorant. I’ll include examples that I’ve seen about.
- Butthurt - As in, “why are you all so butthurt about this?!”. This is not acceptable at all, and the moment you put the word “butthurt” into your argument, it is invalid. It suggests such little understanding of an emotional, oppressive issue that from that point on, your opinions no longer matter, because you’re clearly an ignorant idiot. There’s a major difference between saying “I don’t agree that calling a woman ‘Sweetheart’ is degrading” and saying “why the fuck are you all so butthurt over this, it’s just a word”. It’s wrong to trivialise a genuine issue facing an oppressed group like this which causes so much pain and trouble, which you have no actual experience of, and at the same time disregard everyone else’s opinions on the matter. “Why are you so butthurt about being stabbed? Get over it!” - See how this makes no sense? Neither does your argument if you use this word.
- WHAT ABOUT ME - This is so common, it makes me want to vomit. “What about my feelings?” Firstly, be aware that I am working on the assumption that you are a privileged person, simply because if you were not, you would not need to be reading this. Basically, your feelings do not matter. Upset you can’t use the N-word? For calling someone a faggot? For whitewashing? For saying women belong in the home? I hate to break it to you, but no one cares, and there is a very simple reason for it, which I have said over and over again and will repeat now - compared to the amount this group has suffered, and still is suffering as a result of oppression just like this, your feelings mean shit all. When you’re facing groups of people who are still being considered as a lesser being than you in a multitude of ways, due to whatever reason, your feelings are pretty much the least important thing in this situation.
- What about YOUR/MY privilege - Amazingly, privileged people seem to like to deny that they are privileged. Accept it, people. If you are a cis, heterosexual, white male, especially in the middle and upper classes, your life is pretty damn good. You are pretty much the most privileged people that exist, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something to be aware of. This goes for pretty much every group in society - Many of us are privileged in some way, even if you’re also an oppressed group (eg. Females are an oppressed group, but white females have it better than WoC), and you need to be aware of that. You absolutely cannot start questioning the few privileged an oppressed group has.
eg. You’re privileged because you’re a woman and you can’t be put in the friendzone - That’s ridiculous. Firstly, because a friendzone doesn’t exist. It’s called not being attracted to someone, and it happens. Secondly, it happens to women too. Thirdly…No. That isn’t important. What is important is women getting lower wages than men in the same profession. What is important is that a great deal of people still seem to believe that women can’t handle things as well as men. What IS important is men getting let off rape charges because the judge/jury believe the woman deserve it. Males don’t have these issues, that is their privilege, and they don’t have the right to complain about the trivial things they consider to be “female privilege” when they have these basic things that women should have the right to too
- Stop trying to put yourself above me - Granted, there are a few people who do believe PoC/Women etc should be higher in society than the existing privileged people. However, not everyone does. Saying “white people should not cosplay PoC” is not putting people of colour above you. Believe it or not, it’s actually equalising. PoC get abuse for playing white characters because they are not white, therefore it’s fair for them to get annoyed at white people doing the exact same thing. Other than that, you’re taking away the few characters they can identify with and invading a safe zone, because the poor privileged white people can’t stand being told that this area is restricted for them.
- This isn’t oppressive - “That’s not racist” “That’s not sexist” “That’s not homophobic” - You have no right to declare what is or is not offensive or oppressive. Only the oppressed group can do that, and even they can only define it for themselves. You can’t tell other people what that can and can’t find offensive because you are not in their situation, you do not have their experiences. Perhaps your PoC friend said it’s okay for you to call them the N-word; fine, but only use it to them. Perhaps your female friends say it’s okay for you to call them “slags”, fine, but only for them. That is not then evidence to say that these things aren’t offensive. In the same vein, “this isn’t offensive because not every PoC/woman/homosexual/transgendered person/ thinks it is” is not a valid argument.
Similarly, never tell someone they’re “too sensitive” about something. You haven’t experienced what they have, you have no place to say that.
- Reverse Racism and the likes - It’s not a thing. Or, rather, it just doesn’t matter. Yes, people can be racist against whites, sexist against men etc. but it doesn’t have any affect on you. It doesn’t stop you living your life, prevent you from doing anything, or get you raped/murdered. Your ancestors haven’t struggles for decades because they’ve been white/male. If you want more of an explanation, revisit “WHAT ABOUT ME”
- Tone policing - This isn’t a phrase or a word, just something you should not do. “I don’t like that you swore in that response” “I don’t like how you said that”. It’s a way of dismissing arguments and giving yourself an excuse not to listen to what the other person said because “THEY SWORE AT ME!!!!” and such. It’s just another way to oppress people.
This is just a few of so many ridiculous responses I’ve seen people give when someone’s called out how offensive and oppressive something is. It’s really not hard to see that these are not acceptable things to say. They’re dismissive, ignorant, and they just make you look stupid. If you’re going to argue against an oppressed person/group, do it with logic and sense, not a bunch of ridiculous statements that wouldn’t even make sense to you if you thought about what you’re saying. And if you really, really can’t see why the oppressed are offended by something that is oppressing them, don’t say anything at all. Just walk away -Preferably, go educate yourselves, but if that’s too much, just leave it. You aren’t allowed to tell them it’s not offensive.